Be That Awareness

Good evening. Happy to see you all here today. What did you get out of that meditation? Take. Practicing to be present. It's a different set of guidance to be present as non-identified awareness. Okay. Then, how about you? It brought me deeper into my awareness. Awareness? Yeah.

Anybody else want to share? Avoid suffering? Huh? To avoid suffering. Suffering. To avoid suffering? What does that mean? Um... Means... Suffering from... Attachment? Or obsession? Mm-hmm. Or thinking? Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah, this may or may not have achieved the intention with some of you. Um... It's kind of a instructions to, um, see if you can see the answer to what is this. Something you have to really see and realize by continuing to, uh, peel away this identification that we have. Okay. Because all the suffering originates from identifying with something. And because it's not easily achieved, we start at the basic training our mind to be present first. Right? And that's kind of hard enough right now, isn't it? Your mind wanders. So when you make that effort to stay with the breath, you're training your mind.

To be present. When your mind is trained, and then awareness is there. Because you're training yourself to be right here.

You're able to become mindful of yourself. Okay? Mindfulness really means attention. I know there's a lot of confusion out there, a lot of debates about the sati, sati, the word sati is smriti in Sanskrit. They're arguing about the meaning of the words, whether it was to remember. But if you look at the context, the way the Buddha taught mindfulness, it's all about paying attention to ourself. Okay? Our body, sensation, our mind, objects of our mind. Because when you do that, when you turn that attention inward to ourself, then you recognize the impermanent nature, the non-self nature of our true nature, I guess, by simply by paying attention. And attention is just focused awareness, right? Awareness, you can be aware randomly in general awareness. There's a general awareness.

But when you focus that awareness, you're paying attention. So you're paying attention to the self first, to realize there's nothing you can find as self that you can claim as self if you continue to look. I know you have the sense of self right now. This "I-ness." But it's an identification that we've been so entrenched for many, many, many lives. It's hard to throw that away. And I hesitate to take you right there because the ego's resistance. So, when we start to raise the bar and go deep into the awareness of our essence, a lot of people will run.

because the ego doesn't like that. It doesn't feel safe. You know, who would feel safe being in a void of nothingness?

Right? You feel safe here. But when you start practicing that, just allowing that awareness to be there, once you stop identifying with anything, you'll see that there's just awareness. That's why we ask that question, what is it that which is aware? What do you find when you look?

Anybody? What do you find? When I ask that question, when you ask that question to yourself, what do you find? You're aware of the breath in and out. You're aware that you're here right now, but what is it that's aware? What do you find? What's your name again? Daryl. Daryl? Okay. What do you find when you look?

Just what it is. Yeah. There's no thing, right? Anybody find anything? When you look? Anybody? Yeah. So the technique of the Zen inquiry is: What is this? Don't know. So what is it? Don't know. So what is it? Don't know. So what is it?

Don't know. So what is it? So what is it? Don't know is an expression. Just conceptual expression. Of just watching. Or just continue to watch. This awareness. Awareness. Looking at the awareness. No more subject than object. That's why it's non-dual practice. That's why it's hard to conceptualize it.

That's why you gotta let go the conceptualizing. Trying to figure out what is it? Is it this? Is it that? You've already gone astray. Just ask the question and be with that don't know state. 'Cause you don't. Right? Yeah. So just 'cause I told you there's nothing, if you start conceptualizing that it's nothing, then you've already fallen astray again.

And you just conceptualize nothingness versus somethingness. That's why when we're so used to thinking linearly in a relative sense, dualistically, what is and what isn't, you're always gonna fall one or the other, fall into one or the other. That's what we have to transcend.

That's the middle way, that's the middle way, that's the middle way that we talk about. The Buddha came to realization of how he defined the truth is the middle way. It's encompassing, but logically it's not is, it's not isn't, or you can't say it is, you can't say it isn't, you can't say it's both, it's both, you can't say it's neither. You used up all your logical methodology right there, right?

If you can't say it is, if you can't say it isn't, if you can't say, if you can't say it's both, you can't say it's neither, what logic are you going to use to say what it is? Right? When you can't say it is. Yeah, so Buddha never really defined the self. He only said it's not it, because you can't really conceptualize it. There are many people out there right now who will define it, spiritually awakened, and I'm sure they had their experience, but once you conceptualize it as consciousness, as a unified consciousness, as oneness, nothingness, you know, some of them are trying to point you towards that, but the danger of it is people get identified with it. I am the universe, I am this, I am that. You're leaving one identification to the next. The true self, the self with the big S versus small S, you see that a lot. So the awakened masters may utilize those to point towards it, but you can't be tricked into identifying with that. So when we talk about non-self, you can't identify with anything as self to realize the true self. Is that confusing? Does that make sense?

Yeah, it's that we're so identified with this body and the mind as me. That's where all suffering comes from.

That's the illusion, that's the ignorance we talk about when we talk about, you know, the dependent origination. The root causal condition for all is ignorance. That ignorance creates karmic energy that allows, it doesn't create, it's not a causal effect, it's that causal condition that allows the karmic energy that allows the consciousness that allows the name and form. Okay, that's going upstream, downstream, you know, when we ask the question, well, let me finish. Name and form called six senses, six senses creates a contact, right? Contact from our six senses. Contact creates causal condition for desire, which then allows clinging attachments, which allows beingness, which allows beingness, which allows, you know, life itself, from beingness to age, to become sick and die, right? So Buddha's koan, his inquiry was, why do we have to be born, aged, get sick and die, right?

That's what he witnessed when we went outside the palace. That was his mission, to resolve that. And why do we, why are we born? Because the becoming that is supported by clinging, that's supported by desire, supported by contact, supported by six senses, supported by name and form, which is body and the mind, okay, which is supported by the consciousness, which is supported by the karma, supported by ignorance. Ignorance of what? The truth, the truth of your true nature, truth, the absolute truth, the dharma. That's the whole point of everything that we do. If you don't get this, if you don't realize it right now, then you want to stay that way? Or now you have to make a choice, or do you want to be awake to the truth?

That's why our devotion in Buddhism is to the truth, not even to the Buddha, his guide. He's a teacher, he's our root teacher, okay? So we don't analyze our teachers. You look at what they're pointing at and walk the path, practice, practice, because you don't see it yet. Mind is continuously, you know, active. As long as that mind is continuously active, you can't see the truth, because it's going to create filtering, right? There's that I-ness that continues to create

That ego that continues to create filtering, the illusion of this world being real, when all has been created based on my own karmic energy. So what do we have to do? We have to train our mind again, we have to tame our mind. Theravada, they emphasize taming the six senses, guarding the six senses. That's why mindfulness is necessary. Am I looking for something beautiful? Am I looking for something that tastes good, that feels good? That pleasure seeking, it's based on our desires and attachments, right? So we have to discipline the mind and guard it, have a vanguard, you know, guarding the doors of our senses. So it's not just meditating hours and hours and hours just to meditate. It's about, it's about finding that, or seeing ourself. Mindfulness, sati, that's what it's for. The right mindfulness of the Eighth Noble Path follows the eight and follows the right understanding of what I'm talking about, and then right intention. Okay, here it goes again, intention, because you're going to talk about intention every single session. Yeah, because once your intention is strong enough to become truly be liberated, to see the truth, then you'll be on the path, because that creates the path for you. But your intentions are not strong enough because there's so much distractions in your life, right? It's difficult to be mindful all day, right, moment to moment, right? Because that's what you chose. So no playing game here, it's just choices that we make, consciously or unconsciously. We're making those choices moment to moment, we're making choices. So all those choices we made has become a karmic, you know, energy that creates what we're experiencing and what we're doing now. All the choices we're making now is manifesting our future, along with our past karma. We're just continuously adding on karmic energy after karmic energy after karmic energy after karmic energy to the direction we don't know where it's going. Only karma knows. That's why only way to, we steer that direction, we steer that direction is to make that intention more powerful. Okay, we have to practice every single day to make those vows. Okay, so many of you, I don't force it, but the prostration is very powerful in that. Why?

Because you are letting your body down all the way to the floor, letting the ego down, physically feeling the sensations of the repenting and taking vows. That's why I emphasize listening to the, to the repent while you're practicing, while you're prostrating. Yeah, I think that's probably the first thing we have to do, to repent. Repent, remember, it's not a guilt based regret. It's about recognizing that I'm not awake. I've been this way, now I'm going to become awake. The intention, okay, is more important. And repent, if we use the word repent, there's really no other ways to go about that, but that's what it is, recognition and making that intent stronger. Does that make sense?

Kinda sorta? Yeah, so when you come listen to this over and over again, it'll start sinking. Some people say it started sinking a little bit, but it will continue to go deeper and deeper, but

Practice, continue to practice, and it'll happen naturally. And some people mention on the band app also that as you become more mindful, you're noticing more negative energy, your suffering increases. It's just because now you're able to see what was already there, or paying attention to ourself, meditating longer and longer, you'll start to see what's been already there that you weren't able to see because you weren't paying attention. That's all it is. The mindfulness is not causing more suffering. The negative energy, you know, what you're witnessing is what's already been in there. So it's an opportunity, okay? When you're mindful, you have a choice now to whether to, to keep that negative energy or let go of that negative energy, okay? So now you have a choice. That's why we practice coming back to the present moment with open-heartedness, so you can become more and more aware of what comes up. Whatever comes up, you can't identify with it. Don't identify with it. Remember the RAIN technique, non-identification, the N for the RAIN, it's non-identification. And recognize what's there, allow it to be there, and investigate, meaning, oh, I see. Just let it be, everything run its course, and that energy dissipates, if you can witness it disappearing. Okay, so paying attention is the key. Paying attention is the mindfulness. Mindful, the right mindfulness is based on right intention, always paying attention to ourself moment to moment, whatever you're doing, eating, you know, talking, working, whatever is happening. You're watching whatever is happening, you're just watching, you're paying attention to yourself doing stuff, saying things, thinking, moment to moment to moment. Then once that becomes more powerful, more empowered, and you'll start, that choice becomes more, you know, easy to choose consciously, because that's all it takes, is to watch, okay, and then let it go. You know, some pleasure seeking comes out, oh, okay. That's all you have to do, is notice it. Just because you see that as an illusion that comes and goes, you don't have to grasp at it anymore. And you'll see you grasping, you'll see that initially, grasping onto things, you know, continue to scroll, continue to do things that you tell yourself you're not going to, you know, watching TV late night before you go to bed, whatever it is. You tell yourself, I'm not going to do this, but you continue to do that, right? Just watch that, become more aware of that, you know, and don't try to control it.

Because what happens when you try to fight? You're adding additional opposing force, and then opposing, what happens to the force? It creates equal and opposite reaction. Okay, so we're not trying to fight it, we're just trying to look at it. Oh, I see. Okay, does that make sense? So watching, paying attention, and to see, what is this? Investigate. Too easy, right? So all you have to do is watch, witness everything that comes and goes. Nothing else to do, just pay attention moment to moment to moment. What am I doing? What am I saying? If somebody triggers you, then you get triggered, look at that. Oh, I got triggered, or there's triggering happening. You know, try not to say I, but just say, oh, there it is. You're almost looking at what's happening as almost like a third person, even though you're paying attention to yourself. Whatever is the feeling that's coming up, it's happening, it's happening, it's happening. Okay, heart beating, it's all just happening, just watch. There's nothing to judge about that. Why am I keeping this?

Why am I so attached? You know that you're just adding more additional negative energy to it, you're feeding your ego. Just, oh, okay, just take a step back and watch what's happening. That's all it is. It's just happening based on this karmic, you know, potentiality that's becoming manifesting into, when it, when it ripens. That's how it is. Just like, oh, okay, be on your way. It doesn't go away, just keep watching. Make sense?

Too easy? Any question? Any question about the method? Yes. So, um, I know I see a lot of people continuously judging their practice, and you're just adding on layers, additional layer. It's like Buddha talked about second arrow, you know. When you get hit with the first arrow, just focus on that, but once you start judging that, you're adding a second arrow to it. Whatever we did, we say, we think, as long as we're mindful of it, that's all it takes. That's all we need to do. No need to judge, because that's additional negative energy, judging. Just like we don't want to judge others, we don't want to judge what's happening right here. Just look at this karmic process that's happening right now and be that awareness that we practiced. Just be that awareness, just continue to return to that awareness, and the way to do that is simply use the breath to come back to the present moment, and you recognize, as soon as you're with the breath, you're aware, right?

Okay, just be that. Constantly remind yourself to be that awareness, and that awareness will deepen to itself. Okay, no question? Everything good? I have a question. I was reading some of the literature that was sent, and the sixth sense is

You, I think as a child we're always taught that the five senses was our awareness about the world around us and our observations through all those five senses, but the six senses, it almost seems like what the teaching says is that it's negative to want those things, or to want that food, even. Like, I have an addiction to ice cream, for example, and I get into really bad ruts where I just want to eat it all the time, and I feel like I've earned it, I feel like I deserve it after a long day, and it's kind of a warped way of thinking. But so when I was reading that, I was thinking, I never thought of it as being a negative thing, but it really is, because it's so. What is negative thing?

Wanting? I feel like because I had a bad day I deserve to have something sweet, or something like, I don't want the diet stuff that's in there, like I need to treat myself because I'm not feeling so great after a rough day. And then I said, oh, I guess I really need to start being aware of that, and that was something that, even on a small level, it made me think about the reasons why I'm reaching for it, or why I think I need it or deserve it, or, you know, I affirmed it, I don't know. Yeah, that's the awareness, just seeing that you had that addiction, right? Yeah. So don't judge yourself about that. But it won't be comfort as a child, because we weren't allowed to have many sweets, but ice cream was the one thing we were allowed to have in our house, so there's like a childhood connection. And recognize that, recognize, you know, those karmic causal conditions. So should I see that as something I shouldn't continue, or? There's nothing that's good or bad. It's not a bad thing, right?

It's not a bad thing, you're not hurting your body. Yeah, so even that's not a bad thing. No, but what you have to ask yourself, is it beneficial? Is it really beneficial for me to constantly eat this, or be addicted to that? Is it beneficial? That's the question we ask. Is it beneficial to me and others?

to me and others? is it really beneficial? you'll find you'll find you'll find you have to answer that yourself yeah, I've already I feel like after just coming last week I already answered it yeah you know then you have to choose but that choice because of the karmic habit right? that urge is there, right?

So that's what you have to let go, that urge, that impulse. That's how it is. Any desires and clinging that we have, whatever the clinging that you have, whatever attachment you have, you know, it's addiction, right? So we have to watch that. There's a causal condition for all of it, and sometimes there's too many that have combined into that result, so you don't need to know all of that causal condition, but you just need to know that I have this, this impulse to have something, to get this, to feel this, to see this, to hear this. Just become aware of that. So notice that it's just karmic happening, right, and just watch it, and then make a choice. Make a choice whether I'm going to go for it or not. Normally when you told, when you already told yourself, I'm not going to do this, maybe only once a week, okay, I'm only going to look at my phone one hour a day, and then you continue to do it, you recognize that's being unconscious. You're allowing that karmic habitual energy to be the master, not my choice. So recognize that I am not consciously choosing this, I'm unconsciously choosing to be continuously habitual, old way of being. So we're going to choose new way of being, to be free from our karma, to be free from our habitual way of being, to be free. That's the liberation. Liberation is from our own karma. Does that make sense?

yes I have a question about Sixth Sense

Sixth Sense, you say Sixth Sense is like a redemption? No, it's the most, so it's like when we talk about six gates, six gates, six senses, it's more like six gates. It's used a lot, door, doorway, almost like our vision. We see things, you know, right, seeing, see the vision, hearing sound, smelling, you know, the odor, tasting the taste, feeling the sensation, and it's more of a mental formation, mental objects that we are experiencing through our mind. So sixth sense is really our mental cognitive ability, and our brain is the odor versus eye, ear, nose, you know, skin, tongue, the brain that is processing this mental objects. And that's actually also kind of overlapping with other senses as well, because as this gets processed, you know, as our taste gets processed, the mental object can also be created, but it's that sense that we're talking about here. Intuition is something different. Yeah, that's the sense based part of the sixth sense we're talking about, and from that we have mental objects, right, that we think about, just like visual objects, right? That's why the twelve, the twelve abiding is about that, and there's eighteen consciousness realms. As soon as we see things, our consciousness gets activated, visual consciousness, auditory, effectory, you know, sense based. All of those six senses activate six consciousness, that's why there's eighteen realms. If you look at the sheet that I gave you, you'll see that there's eighteen realms, you know. That's why in Heart Sutra it says there's no, you know, eye, there's no seeing, all of that, and there's no eighteen realms of all this. Um, doesn't mean there's, doesn't exist, doesn't mean, they're all empty. They're all empty because they're all, you know, dependent, they're not independent. Okay? Yeah. So take a look. What is my mind doing when I'm paying attention? What is awareness? Keep looking at that, and you're just paying attention, paying attention, paying attention, paying attention. That's the Zen inquiry methodology, that's non-dual practice. And if you're not ready for that, then just continue to come back. You've got to develop some sort of a concentration to be able to be more effective in that, but if you really want to know, you can still ask yourself, what is this that's aware? That will take you into that no don't know state.

Which means no mind, no thoughts. You'll see, when you're sincerely asking what is this, and you don't know, but you're asking what is this, there's nothing there other than looking. That's why it's so effective, but it's also treacherous. You've got to do it with the guidance of the teacher. Okay, so regarding what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, don't know, don't know, don't know. I understand that when you're reciting what is it, it's not a, it's not just a recitation, what is it, what is it. And I understand that you're not, when you're, when you're, when you're saying what is it, you're not, it's not a seeking thing where you're looking for an answer. But am I correct in assuming myself, when I'm, when I'm doing that, I'm, I'm doing it when in a state where, where there's no thoughts in my mind, my mind's completely empty, and that's, that's, that's when I, that's, that's time I'll say what is it? Is that incorrect?

When your mind is completely empty? Yes. If it's completely empty, how are you going to ask that question? My mind is quiet. Your mind is quiet? What does it mean by quiet? Yeah, what does it mean by quiet? There's no thoughts going through. No thoughts? Then how are you going to ask the question if there's no thought? Because um, then you don't need to, you don't need to do anything if your mind is quiet. It's the point is to be, to be quiet, but I'm looking, looking for, I'm looking to, to strip, strip, strip my ego and strip my conceptual thinking by reciting, by doing that recitation. You may want to first investigate that quietness. If your ego is still there, then there's no quietness. You think you're quiet. Take a look again. Yeah. See how long we can be quiet. Is it a momentary thing or is it a duration?

not too long yeah it's not a quiet quietness quietness is not like oh, there's nothing there and then something is there quietness is just awareness yeah we're talking about the silence that's already there right? silence is right here, right? right? stillness is right here, right?

There's nothing to be achieved. Yeah, nothing to be achieved. So quietness, you have a concept of being quiet. Yeah, so we can achieve that by asking and going into don't know. When you're sincere about the question, what is this? When you really want to know, you have to want to know, what is this that's aware?

Then you truly see that there's only awareness, because there's silence. That's how we silence the mind, the shamatha, by asking the question, what is this? There's no answer. What is this? All you did was return to the silence, just looking. What is this? You're looking inward to find that awareness, but that's it, stay with that. Yeah, so the better method is become more aware of the breath to stay in the present moment. As you're doing that, you're aware, recognize that you're aware of the breath in and out, and then ask, what is this that's aware of this? As you're still with the breath, there's something that's awake watching this. What is this?

Yeah, it'll click if you continue to try. Look, look, look, look, look, and it will, all this false looking will still happen for a while, maybe years, but if you continue to try, what is this? And you really have that inquiring mind wanting to see what this awareness is all about, is when you really just look, just looking state, that's when that becomes more powerful. It becomes penetrated inside into this is-ness, not nothingness, it's just is-ness. And you see that, then you come to the realization that oh, there is only awareness. Yeah. Yeah, so yes, I feel like I have like these split seconds of what you're describing, yeah, and then I start trying to articulate exactly in my head and then it's over. What, what would you suggest doing? It's okay. So right now it's the habitual energy to conceptualize something, especially we live our life trying to intellectualize everything, right? To understand, to be able to explain things. That's what your mind is so used to doing. That's a linear relative way of thinking. So you just look at that, recognize that as your habitual way of thinking, you know, that's just a habitual way of continuously. I used to do that too. As soon as I get through, like I get through a certain experience, spiritual awakening experiences or whatever, I'm trying to figure out how to explain this stuff, because I want to go to my master and explain to him what I just experienced. So I'm wrapping my mind around it, you know, and I recognize that each time I did that, I would lose it completely, you know? So instead of trying to understand it, I'm trying to understanding it. When you get glimpses into these experiences, understanding it is your ego, yeah, trying to wrap our mind around it, and that's when you lose, that's when you just, that's why we have to train our mind to simply look, simply ask, what is it?

If that does happen again, okay. If that happened again, okay, what is this? What is this? Keep going in, keep going in, keep going in, keep going in, keep going in, and it may take years. The reason I say that is because people get impatient with the practice. I've been doing this for 6 months, I've been doing this for 2 years, I've been doing this for 20 years, you know, it's not working for me. Maybe it just takes longer for you because of your karmic energy is so strong that you're not pushing through, you know? It may take multiple lifetime. I'm sorry, but don't do it to achieve anything. Just because you don't know, you want to know, that's why. Because don't know, right? Well then, what is it?

I don't know. So you're doing it because of that moment, the don't know-ness, that I'm asking the question, not because I want to achieve this enlightenment in this lifetime. That's the ego right there, that becomes spiritual ego. That make sense? That make sense? So allow all these obstacles come and go. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's why I keep saying allow it, allow it, accept it, investigate, you know.

Allow it, accept it, investigate, stop the judgment. Okay. Yes, for my morning meditation I've been trying to keep my eyes open for the full hour, and I noticed that about halfway I just want to close my eyes. I feel like I can go deeper when I close my eyes. Should I try to stay open at the time? Yeah, it feels like it's going deeper because your sense, you know, just like when we just did this exercise, we close our eyes. The reason I did that was to make sure you see nothing, right? Because we're so visually, you know, inside it all the time. But if you really want to focus and go deep, you got to keep your eyes open. The reason is, as soon as you close your eyes, that sense of being in deeper is the trick of the mind. Your mind is playing a trick, so you fall into that trap. Yeah, so that's why all the masters have said keep your eyes open. Look at the samadhi state, the Buddhas in that status, none of them has their eyes closed. Yeah, there's a reason for that. That if samadhi, the jhanas that people try to do, a lot of Theravada practice where they do shamatha in order to get into jhanas, some people do do it by eyes closed, okay, but that's not real samadhi because that's temporary. If they open their eyes, they leave it like that. But the true samadhi can be achieved when you do it right here, by becoming aware of everything as is, and be still in that stillness, you know, with that inquiry going on. Okay, that make sense?

Yeah, the mind will play such a trick, such a subtle trick, that you will not, you will not see it coming if you keep your eyes closed. If you maintain your eye, that visual cue of all that is, not identifying with this form that are here in front of me as real, but just to, just to be in that presence with our eyes open and be able to go into the stillness with our eyes open, you recognize no matter what you do, you can be, have that, maintain that samadhi state, be awake state. Because otherwise, if you close your eyes and get into samadhi, you can, but as soon as you open your eyes, you're out of it. It becomes temporary, yeah, and it becomes a pleasure thing a lot of people fall into, or something they achieved, you know. And there are people who have been verified to have gone to all the jhanas, but they're like, oh, I've been through all four jhanas, you know, I've been through eight jhanas, I'm in the Nirodha Samapatti, you know, and they come out on YouTube and say, declare themselves as arahants, just because they're able to, it's a mental, mental, what do you call those, kind of like mental skills, you know, that you can gain through practicing, um, focus, concentration, while you're pointing concentration. But that doesn't mean you're liberated. Liberation is when you truly see the reality as

As empty as it is, and see. What did Buddha become awakened to? When he became awakened and enlightened, what, what did he become enlightened to? Did I know? Hmm? No, he became enlightened to the dependent origination, which we also express it as middle way, which he also expressed emptiness, that everything is interdependent. He saw that everything is interdependent. Everything that exists, that is manifestation, can only manifest based on condition, supporting condition. So there's no such thing as self, because everything is dependent on everything else. So there's interdependent, interconnected, another word for it. Those are just words, but you're able to see this karmic formation and dissolution of everything. So what he realizes that there's nothing to be claimed as me, therefore there's nothing to hold on to. And when you don't hold on to anything, you're free. That's the freedom he was talking about. Now, whoo, I am one, I am awareness, you know, that's where everybody gets stuck, as spiritual awakening experiences do happen. You get a glimpse, this expansiveness, you know, that there's no, there's infinite consciousness that you feel, there's infinite space that you actually feel and see, but that doesn't liberate. Only when you see the truth, that's when it was awakened to the truth, to the truth, the karma, the dependent origination of all that is, is when you realize that I don't have to be entangled in that anymore. I no longer have to be manifested anymore, to be born, right? I don't have to follow that karmic flow anymore, because now I see it. All I have to do is this right here, and just watch and be aware of it. But what do we do?

What do we do? That tastes good, mmm, that feels good, oh, that looks so good, oh, it sounds so good. All this pleasure, right? Yeah, that's why Buddhism is turned off to a lot of people that have strong ego, because it seems like you have to throw everything away. No, just realize that all of these are cause of your own suffering, and once you realize it, once you let go, it's all simultaneously, you know, the truth of all that is, there's nothing to be attached to. Only thing that's special is what you think of it as special. It's all mental projection. Everything is empty. Doesn't mean there's nothing, just empty of an inherent value. That makes sense? That's why when you truly realize anicca, how transitory everything is, when you truly see that, you see that I can't have anything for me to hold on to. My loved ones, my special this, my special that, is, is a cause of suffering. That's what you see when you see the truth. That's why when you become awake to this truth, not just understand it conceptually, when you realize that for yourself, your paradigm of the world changes completely. You may still be responsible for what you're doing right now, okay, but you're no longer attached. You're not doing it because you're attached, you're adding additional value to it. You're just doing it because it's the natural course, okay? And you see that there's no self, but therefore there's no mind. It's just all interconnected, interdependent movement, dance, the karmic dance. That's all that's happening. Everything's just happening. Thinking is just happening. Everything is just happening. You recognize that. I know you're trying to wrap your mind around this right now, but let it be. Don't try to understand, okay? Don't try to understand the absolute, because that's the conceptual way of wrapping things, trying to understand it. Just, oh, okay, and just, I'm planting the seed, you know, and there's already opening happening. You gotta let that be. So as you experience things, this expansiveness, just be a witness. There's nothing special. Be the witness, okay? Make sense?

I know it doesn't, it shouldn't make sense, okay? I'm sorry, can I one more question? Can I meditate laying down with my eyes open, as opposed to sitting upright? I find that my body doesn't stop moving and that it distracts my mind. Yeah. Because my body is so fidgety. Yeah. When I lay down, um. Can you lay down for 30 minutes without moving? I could probably do that. No, you can try. Okay. Try it for 30 minutes, time it, and see if you don't move. You'll be fidgeting. Yeah, I feel wiggly. You'll fidget. Even if you lay down, you'll fidget. Yeah. It's just, we can't sit in one stillness for a long time because nothing lasts. That's why it's just, it's just love and permanence. That no, no matter how comfortable you find that sitting to be or laying down to be, after a while it becomes very uncomfortable, because it's just love and permanence. So you can train your mind to, the meditation is not about sitting still. In that moment I just distract myself. Yeah, just recognize that it's training the mind, you know, to keep coming back to the present moment. And if it hurts, you know, switch the legs. It's okay for now. And then you push yourself a little bit longer, but not extreme pain, but just to be able to have that opportunity to sense that intense sensation. Not pain, don't call it pain. Once you start calling it pain, then you've already judged it. Just look at that sensation as itself. Oh, I feel that warm, okay. And then just watch it, watch it, watch it. And then there's a fear that I'm going to lose my leg right now because it's so numb. If I sit here for 30 more minutes, it's, I'm going to lose it. The blood's going to stop and I'm going to lose it. There's that fear. Don't push it. Go a little bit more, you know, maybe a few more minutes, and that's what it's like. At least you're mindful of it and have that opportunity to observe that sensation. Okay, thank you. Okay, I'm gonna, let's, let's end this and we'll do an announcement. Please think about all sentient beings as we do our metta prayer. May all beings be safe. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be joyful. May all beings be joyful. May all beings, may all beings awaken to their true nature. May all beings awaken to their true nature. May all beings be free. May all beings be free. May all beings be free. Thank you.