Intention Creates Direction

Good evening, everyone. Welcome. It's your first time here, right? Yeah. Met you on Saturday. So, everyone's at different levels of practice. So, a lot of times, you know, a topic comes up, but I have to gauge right at this moment whether it's appropriate or not. That's the difficulty of talking to mass dharma talks. If I go too deep, I lose people. You know, if I just keep repeating, and it is necessary, it may become a little repetitive, but just want to remind you, and also for those who just joined us, our meditation practice, the reason we don't close our eyes is to maintain the visual cue of the present, right here in the now, okay? So for those of you who may be practicing with your eyes closed, you may be uncomfortable at first. But when you close your eyes, your imagination, your thinking mind kind of overtakes you, okay? Until your samadhi state becomes powerful enough. Usually, you fall into thoughts much quicker, and you fall asleep much quicker, when you keep your eyes closed. Even though it feels more relaxed, all the masters in the past, and at least in the Zen tradition, forbids closing the eyes.

Especially when you get into really deep, deeper level of concentration, of concentration, your mind will start playing a lot of tricks. You know, start seeing things. Even if you're, even when you keep your eyes open. But when you close your eyes, it becomes much more dangerous. So, they even use the word dangerous to keep your eyes closed. So, this is why we don't do that here. If you're just trying to relax to visualization type of work, you can do that. But what we're trying to do here is, first, the baseline is to develop presence. Meaning, staying in the present moment. Keep coming back, disciplining our mind to stay present and to be open. If you can do that, your awareness of yourself will increase. So you no longer react to all the situations and all those people that you normally react and cause you the stress.

And all the stress, all the sufferings that we experience in our life is generated from our perspectives, whether we like it or we don't like it, right? Not getting what I want and having to experience what I don't want is the suffering. And that's based on my preferences, how I perceive. We just don't know ourself enough to recognize that. That's why we practice mindfulness, which means to pay attention to the present moment, but the right mindfulness of the Eightfold Noble Path is paying attention to myself, to myself, to increase the self-awareness. So instead of giving up my choice to others to make me feel angry, frustrated, or the circumstances, we choose our own beingness. In order to do that, we have to train our minds, at least fit enough to be not swindled by the circumstances.

Okay? When the stress comes, recognize that it's because of my own resistance to what it is. Right? Everybody's felt stressed before. But normally we give that credit to what? To others, right? Only if he didn't do that, she didn't do that. Only the circumstance. Only if I didn't have so much work I had to do. Right? We're always looking outward. But once you start paying attention inwardly, you'll start to recognize the stress. Okay? It's based on my perception of what is. That's why we're practicing to be present and to be open. It's open awareness practice. Open awareness. Allowing everything to be. It doesn't mean you become passive. It's coming to everything to everyone. It's just recognition of what is without reacting automatically with negative emotions.

And being able to choose my response. Making conscious choices that is beneficial to me and to others. Right? But we have to be retrained to be able to do that. Sounds good. But we have built in so much reactions throughout our lives that we automatically react. Right? Anybody ever experience that? Automaticity of our reactions? Everybody, right? Yeah.

It's just, we're just trained that way. So we have to retrain our mind. It takes a little bit of discipline. It takes a little bit of discipline to stay present. So even though I say, you know, minimum 20 minutes, as you do your one-hour recommended, I almost said required, but it's not required. The daily guidance, the first time is we'll get that email welcome letter with that folder that has daily guidance for practice. And my recommendation is minimum of an hour a day. Minimum. That's minimum. You can break it up to 20 minutes. How many people find it easy to do one hour a day every day? Yeah. Very few. Does that include mindful walking or just sitting? Just sitting in meditation. Yeah.

Yeah. Not that easy. But once you start practicing it, you'll see why. And also, I know I say you can break it up into bits, but minimum 20 minutes, because typically, it takes a little while for the mind to settle down. So as you sit here, even with the guided meditation, you see your mind going right elsewhere. I have to remind you to come back. When you're doing it yourself, you could be spending an entire 20 minutes thinking. Right? Yeah. But that's okay. That's okay. It takes a lot of practice. That's why we call ourselves practitioners. So no judgment. Okay? We've got to take the judgment out for this practice. Not only for ourselves. Okay? As long as you're practicing. No judgment. And how many times you have to come back.

In fact, that's what it takes. Repetitions. You know? Repetition of coming back to the present moment. Over and over and over again. Yeah. If you can count it about a million times, then it'll probably stay a little bit longer after that. So until then, just gotta keep doing it. Just gotta do it. But there will be a lot of obstacles to keep you from doing that. You know? Some people get a little better and get bored with it. You know? Or they don't see much change and they give up. And there's life that just kinda kidnaps you and takes you away. A lot of different things happen, but you gotta make that commitment to prioritize this practice. Why? Because at least for your own mental health, mental well-being, we gotta retrain the mind.

Yeah. Can continuously live in the life of stress, fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, stress, you know, all of those stressful events, allowing the outside circumstances to dictate my own way of being, which should be my choice. Right? No matter what happens, should be my choice, and can be my choice. To be positive. To be serving. Okay? Make sense? Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. So just think of this as meditation as more of a mind-discipline act. And then once you're able to at least control your emotion a little bit, and there are

people here and now telling me that they can do that after practicing for a while. Even the chaotic moments. Sometimes you lose it, but, you know, tend to be able to discern and be able to be present without reacting. Just good. Yeah. Keep that. And as you become more trained in that, then the next level is increasing the level of concentration. concentration to one-pointedness. One-pointedness is important to calm the mind down. And you have to calm the mind down. We call it calm abiding in order to be able to see. In order to be able to really see through all those filtering, you know, that your mind does. with thinking, concepts, ideas, and projection. All that's happening in your mind has to be calm enough to have that insight into the reality.

That's why we meditate to increase the self-awareness. not just about my emotions, not just about what I'm thinking, but to ultimately have that clear, penetrating insight into the nature of our own self. That's why I threw out that question, you know. What is this that is aware? Everybody's aware, right? You can be aware of the breath. But what is it? Yeah. But it takes a little bit of effort, at first, to discipline the mind. But you can also, in order to really see it, the practice is non-dual. When you start to observe your own awareness, you're using the awareness to be aware. Which doesn't really make sense, logically. But that's the non-dual practice of it. That subject that's watching, is watching itself. Therefore, there's no subject and object anymore.

There's no clear division anymore. When you're watching the breath, there's subject and object. So object-based meditation really helps you to calm the mind. But when you don't have a clear insight into the nature, you have to pay attention to that as well. So for those of you that are going in deep, when you start to feel the piti, meaning that blissful calm state, you gotta ask that question. What is this? What is this? So you can really look at that awareness. Anybody find the answer yet? I will ask this every time. If you do, let me know. One on one. Set up a time and say, "Hey, I got it."

I got it. And I talked about spiritual experiences. You know, as your mind calms down, the ego will play its role to resist. There will be all kinds of different experiences. Physically, mentally, you know, almost like supernatural power. Those are all distractions. Okay? Because it's not about gaining anything, really.

When you become real, when you realize and gain that insight, even if it's a glimpse, you recognize that there's nothing to be gained. In fact, it's about non-grasping. We call letting go. Right? And letting go is not this. It's just this. Right here.

Letting everything be without holding on to it. Letting everything be without abiding in it. Being attached. That's true realization. The enlightenment that we talk about that liberates you. is truly see the empty nature where you are no longer holding on to anything.

Make sense? Tired? So let me try this with you. So you guys can actually see and visualize the space in this room, right? Right? The space in this room. Now visualize a line that goes directly in the middle. Split this room in half.

Draw a line. It can go through. Draw a line. Now you got right side and left side, right? To me it's right here and left, but to you it's right and left, right? So now you got this room in half. Notice that as soon as you draw the line, there's right side and left side.

Right? Before you drew the line, there was no right and left. It was just one room, right? How do you undo that line? See, notice how it became relative. This room, that was it. And then, by drawing that line, that boundary, by drawing that boundary in our mind, now we have right side of the room and left side of the room.

How do you undo that line? Do you erase the right side? Do you erase the left side? Do you erase the line? That's the dualistic way. That's why we can't let go. We're trying to let go, you know, by holding on to it first.

Okay? So we have to transcend the right and left. We have to not draw the line. We have to not un-drawing the line, but not draw the line. So we're looking at that line as a boundary. As soon as you draw a line, there's a boundary.

But what boundary are you setting for yourself?

Right? When you say "I", where is that boundary? Where is it no longer "I"? And when there's "I", there's a point with no longer "I", right? What is your boundary you set? You do have one, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have "I". Everyone has a boundary, right?

Yeah. That's the boundary you're continuously setting. Does that make sense? Is this confusing? Some people, let me know if it is. It's a little bit confusing. A little confusing? Yeah. I asked my yoga teacher one time, "Why do we set the boundaries for ourselves?"

Mm-hmm. And he said, "Well, we have boundaries because we're scared." Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, some of those boundaries are relationship boundaries, you know? Where you don't want to be violated, you know? But I'm talking about the boundary that you set, the line you're drawing for yourself.

Right? And you may not even realize you're drawing that boundary. Because it's always been me anyways. Right? You've lived your entire life with that boundary of right and left. Not knowing, not knowing that I am drawing boundary moment to moment to moment. Okay.

Does that make sense? What was your question? No, it resonated with what you just said. It just doesn't relate to it. Yeah. Because it's been the main topic for me like this week. Yeah. It's because we've been drawing this line for so long.

Do you know how long? Absolute center view for eon forever. For life after life after life after life. And that's why we keep, continue to be born. Because of that selfness. Yes, ma'am. By boundary, do you mean like the feeling while I'm separate?

Yeah. Yeah. Where do I set my boundary? As me. And not me. There's obviously what's not me, right? Whenever you say I, me. Right? Yeah. It normally has to do with your physical body, right? Anybody else have different boundary? It could be your personality, it could be whatever you think is your boundary.

But normally, typically, you know, if I only poked you physically, you'd be offended because you're touching me, right? Yeah. It's the boundary. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just that when we say me, we're using this body, we're identified with the body as me.

Right? That's where we're drawing the boundary based on my identification that I've been trained to hold forever. What if there wasn't any boundary? What would you be? Leave that to your imagination. Yeah. So that's your natural essence. You know, just like this room.

Just what it is. Until we draw the line. We are already, that space, whether you drew that line in your mind or not, the space is space, right? This room is this room. Just like the entire space. Empty space. Whether we built this wall or not.

The space is space, right? But by drawing this boundary, we call it room, hall, whatever, and it's outside.

But space is space. So our essence is just essence. That's why when you ask yourself, "What is this?" "What is this?" Everybody can agree to not knowing what that answer is right now? Or then you got to admit, "Don't know." When you truly, sincerely look at it and ask, "What is this?"

And you really don't know, and you ask, "Don't know." If you look at it very carefully, when you're at a "don't know" state, we call it "don't know mind," there's no thoughts in it. Yeah. That's why the Zen call it the quickest way to shamatha, to calm abiding.

What is this? Only thing left is watching. That's why Zen inquiry is considered very advanced. That's why a lot of people, it doesn't work for a lot of people, because they're not disciplined enough to even ask that question properly. But when you really want to know, if you really want to know your true essence, all you have to just look in.

What is this? That's listening right now. And boom. You're already at a state. There's no longer boundary anymore. Because that's the technique I'm explaining. But that's transcending. You know. Instead of trying to erase, let them right. By trying to let go of things.

You have to see. You have to see. That there's nothing to be held. There's nothing you can hold onto. There's nothing you can claim as mine. It's just your mind. Perception of it as mine. Me. Myself. It's based on the boundaries that we created.

Okay? Is that too much? No? Yeah. So ultimately, dissolving the ego, is really transcending this whole boundary that we set, the old way of being, to a new way of being. Okay? You can't do that by yourself.

Because your ego is going to take off. Guaranteed. You can't do this by yourself. That's why you have a teacher to tell you that that's your ego. Even though your ego gets hurt by that. Yeah. Gotta have somebody to tell you that. To guide you that.

Give you that bitter. And then you gotta have a sangha that you can rely on. You gotta have the right environment to practice. Okay? I emphasized that before, right? But you yourself have to set that intention. Intention. Intention creates direction. The reason I emphasize intention every session is because everyone in here has to strengthen their intention more.

Everyone. Intention is not strong enough. Yeah. That's why your obstacles will hide it. Because your intention is not strong enough. If you tell me it is, I'm telling you it is not. I'm not trying to, you know, hurt your ego, but it's just the way it is.

That's why I emphasize this. Intention to be awake, to benefit of all others. Or at least to make a positive impact on other people's lives. Because we always live so long with this boundary of me, and only taking care of me. Me, me, me, me.

Which is the source of all suffering. If you want to be liberated from suffering, we've got to let that boundary go. But it's not done by, "Oh, I've got a boundary." You know? Or not try to draw the boundary. It doesn't work that way.

You've got to transcend it. You've got to discipline the mind enough. And that disciplining, that disciplining requires that intention. So, for those of you who have been here long, almost a year now, have you been practicing together? Oh, okay. So great. Yeah. But I barely touched the tip of the iceberg for this practice.

Okay? And it's because of, right now, you know, the environment is not set for us to practice every day together. It takes a lot of practice. So if you don't commit to daily puja, to set that intention every morning, obviously the intention is not going to become strong enough.

Okay? If you don't do those practice that I've laid out in the guideline, and I keep saying this, it's bare, bone, middle, to even just keep you on the path. Okay? Then, I can't do anything. I can't help you. You got to stay on the path. Share on the band app.

Okay? What you're doing. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, okay? So, no judgment, no guilt. I'm just saying, pointing the way for you. That you want to do it your way. Everyone's got, everybody's entitled to their opinion. Okay? But when it comes to practice, you got to go by what the teacher is telling you what you do.

Then there's no, until you do that, there's no teacher-student relationship. No matter how much you agree to what I'm saying, no matter how much you want to, that commitment is not there to keep you on the path to that intention. Okay? So, it's not something that can be done by me encouraging you, or, you know, whipping you, or throwing carrots at you. It's just something you just have to decide to do.

That is important enough for me to not suffer anymore like I used to. Or at least, say, I want to become awake, so I can truly be beneficial to others. You know? So you practice. Remember we did this exercise? Why do you practice?

For everyone. For everyone. That has to be the baseline. If you're doing it for your own awakening, you'll never get there. Because first of all, you're doing it for yourself that you don't know what it is. But when you do it for all, then at least you increase the boundary.

To no boundary. No boundary means no ego. Ego, what is ego? Ego is also illusion. It's an illusion. This whole meanness, this boundary we set, is ego. And you're always trying to protect that. Because it's ingrained in us. It's in our DNA. To protect my life.

So it's not something wrong. It's good for the survival of the prehistorical time. But we still have that in our brain. Treating everything like a life-threatening situation. When you can say, "Oh, okay. Didn't work out the way I want it. Okay, let me see what I can do to change it."

You know. If I can't change it. Yeah. So we're responding to whatever it is, and whoever it is. That's going to be beneficial. Beneficial. Not good and bad. That's everybody's opinion. How is it going to benefit everyone?

Keep me aligned with my intention. That's when the right mindfulness, the vision, you know, continuously watching myself, speech, actions, and thoughts. Okay? To stay aligned to my spiritual intention. You know, when you invoke that intention, every day, it becomes more powerful. That's why I keep mentioning empower your intention, empower your intention.

Because intention creates direction of the flow. Why? Karma just means flow of everything. Everything is in the flow, right? Everything is manifesting. It exists for a little bit. And when that supporting condition goes away, which is because nothing is permanent, everything changes. And it disappears into nothingness and comes back in.

It's just always in cycle. Everything is in cycle. Flow. That's what karma really is. Karma just means flow of manifestation and disappearance based on the supporting conditions. And it goes in a certain direction based on our own volition, our choices that we're making moment to moment.

That's why when we set the intention, instead of going this direction, we go into that direction. Everything that we do, everything that we say, is intention-based. That's how you become awake. Just by strengthening that intention, it will start to pull you. Once it becomes more powerful enough, it will start to help you evade some of those obstacles.

Synchronicity happens. Like, "Oh, let me try this." There will still be obstacles, but you can move through them based on that power of intention. I don't know if this is going to make sense, but I lose my intention because I'm not really clear on what I'm looking for at times.

Sometimes I know, especially when I suffer, and it's easy to set an intention. But if it's things that are going semi-okay, and I get lazy, and I can't reset it easily, if that makes sense. I don't know if that makes sense. So that's why we wrote it down. Bodhicitta intention.

Just repeat that for now. You know, you've heard of this. Fake it until it becomes real. Just continue, you know, repeat that to your heart. That for benefit of all beings, I'm going to become awakened. To perfect enlightenment. Okay? Or at least be mindful and be compassionate.

Moment to moment throughout the day. Okay? If spiritual awakening is not your thing, at least you can be mindful and compassionate to benefit others. So, always gotta be watching, mindful of ourself. And when you start to think a lot about this and this and that, and ask yourself, you know, how beneficial is this?

So, that's it. Just come back to this open space without dividing it up into little pieces. It's like, you know, another analogy is like the ocean, right? We look at each wave and think of it as individual waves, but it's an ocean. Until we project separateness.

And that's why we think we're separate. Until you look closely enough and see how everything's interdependently connected. doesn't mean our skins and skins are all connected together. Interconnected means we're interdependent. Everything is dependent on everything else. Everything that exists depends on everything else in this entire universe.

Everything is interdependent. Okay? So it's worthwhile to at least try to find out what this "I" is. What am I claiming to be me when I know it can't be this body that's ever-changing. It can't be this mind that continues to flow with different thoughts.

Then what is this "I"? What am I claiming to be me? "I"? And you'll see that it's an illusion. It's a thought. It's just a thought that arises as soon as you become conscious. "Oh, I'm awake." "Oh, there's an eye right there." "Can't fall asleep." "Oh, there's an eye out there."

Right? Just use that opportunity to look at that eye.

Any questions? No questions? Yeah, so when you're looking at the eye that can't fall asleep, "How can you reframe that so it is more truthful?" "When you can't fall asleep?" "So if it's not the eye that can't fall asleep, and that's what you're thinking when you're saying I can't fall asleep, what else can you think instead?"

"We don't want to think. Just ask yourself, what is that eye? What are you claiming to be that eye that can't fall asleep? Just ask that. Are you asking based on the ability to go to sleep? Or just that question of eye?" "The ability to go to sleep."

Yeah. So a lot of people struggling with sleep, stop telling yourself that you have to sleep. even though next day I know you're, you know, tired, stop telling yourself, "I can't sleep. I need to sleep. I gotta go to sleep." Look at the stress you're putting onto yourself.

Simply by saying that. "Oh, I'm gonna have a terrible day tomorrow." You're already projecting. You're already creating. Right there in your mind. So if you can't sleep, say that's okay. Tell yourself that's okay. Because you can't sleep, you can't sleep. Accept it. Allow it to be.

Allow it to be. Practice that. That's what I practice. Allowing it to be. And then see if you can relax into that state. You know? And sometimes just tap on your chest. Like I used to do. It's okay. It's okay. Everything's okay. Why? Because everything already is. Whatever it is, it's okay. We're open. Completely open to it. And if you can do something about it, do something about it, you know? But as far as sleep goes, um, just gotta let it be. Without adding more tension to it. More stress. And that doesn't really help either. Right? Does it? Does it help? Right? Just say, "Argh! I cannot want to sleep!" Notice the difference? Yeah. So we've got to practice. Usually that is an opportunity to meditate.

Okay. Great. I have an extra 10-15 minutes to meditate. Just do it.

Lean down. With your eyes closed. And just continue to look at yourself. Trying to find that. "I". What is it? What is it? What is it? When you're meditating and you're looking to answer that question? It's an activity of the brain. You know, what is this? Do we then stop asking the question and let the brain just, I'm going to say, shut off, for lack of a better term? And is it our intention that we're looking? How are we seeking if we're not using our mind to find out what is this? When you're meditating or when you're trying to sleep? When you're meditating? When I'm meditating. Oh, when you're meditating. When I'm letting go, right? Yeah. You've got to ask with sincerity. You've got to look at it with sincerity.

What is that? And how do I discern between the formations of the mental formations, the mind giving, trying to give me solutions based on past concepts? Any solution that you get, 100%. Right. Not it. So, do you ever know when you... Yes. You will.

You will. You will know. Will I know it as a mental formation, or will it be a different type of knowing, knowledge? It's just, you'll just know. It's not a mental formation. There's only one mental formation. What is this? And then everything should stop. And then let that go. So, what is this? Yeah, just look. It's looking. You know, looking. But not seeing. It's not looking with your eyes. With your mind. Yeah. Not seeing with your eyes. But looking. With your mind, even. You're not looking with your mind, or are you? You're looking. Your mind is looking at that awareness. Your awareness is looking at your awareness. So, that's why we start with the breath. In and out. What is this? So, it may not come right away.

So, for most of you, just about everybody here, you need to first learn to discipline. To discipline the mind first. Be present first. When I'm looking. When I'm looking. Yeah. When I'm there. Yeah. Be present. Those rare moments when I have, when I feel somebody, and I'm like, I'm ready. I'm going in. Am I looking in a black hole? A white hole? You're not ready. Endless space. Am I, you know. It has to be, it has to be, it has to be this inclination there. What is this? Not, oh, it's time to ask that question. No, but I get it. You know, you're looking, you're seeking. Yeah. This is what that's going on. As you're with the breath for a while, as you first focus on disciplining your mind with the breath, the first step is to become more present, and so that you can be more proactive and non-reactive.

Right, step one. Yeah, step one. Learn to do that, or you're no longer emotionally negative. Mm-hmm. Okay, that has to be disciplined first, in order to even discipline the mind to concentrate. Mm-hmm. Okay, and then next step is to learn to concentrate. Mm-hmm. You sit there for 45 minutes, an hour, okay, to where you're just steady. When you're steady, your mind naturally will find that blissful state, right? Mm-hmm. Just have that conversation with somebody who had that. That's when, if you can continually do that without chasing after that blissfulness, because you'll feel like literally something you can't explain. Just so, that peace that comes from that silence of the mind is very blissful. Once you can do that on your own, your mind has enough concentration.

Mm-hmm. To enter the first jhana state. And that's really where that true inquiry goes in. Okay? Mm-hmm. So before that, everybody's trying, trying, trying. That's okay. And is it jhana state? Is it even jhana? Yeah, jhanas. First two, second, all the way to eight jhana, but really need only. For this practice, you only need first jhana. Where you concentrate it to one thing and one thing only, which is that wanting to know. That inclination to know, because I don't know. I need to know. I don't know. There's only one thought. It is one thought. Okay. The vitakka. And then sustaining the jhana. Sustaining that one. And I talk about this early, even though most of you are not ready for this. Most of you are not ready for it yet.

Because you may become ready like that. Because I don't know when you'll be ready, depending on your own practice and your commitment. That's why I talk about this now. Okay. But tell me, as you're practicing with your breath, you know, doing anapanasati, you know, which is the breath, sati of the breath, where your mind becomes calm enough. Okay. Then I'll, we'll start initiating this more in person. And I'll make that suggestion for you to do that, when you get there. So if you're having any kind of experiences as you meditate, you need to let me know. I can prescribe the, like, method, otherwise your ego will take over. Very, very quick. Because as soon as you experience something, even if it's a glimpse and it's an ultimate reality, your mind try to wrap a concept around it, to understand it, because that's how we always think.

Right? We're so linearly trying to understand everything, we're trying to understand it, but you can't understand that. Your mind does not have capacity to understand the absolute. So when we see the insight into it, you just have to become it. That's it. But our minds are, "Oh." I know that because I used to do that myself all the time. I'm trying to capture so that I can explain to it.

I'm trying to be mindful because I find myself, like, I have this addictive personality, so I feel like I want to start chasing that feeling. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just recognize that as an obstacle. Just recognize that as a distraction. Yeah. I understand that feeling because I used to do that too. Because it feels so nice.

Yeah. But bliss is not our goal. There's other practices that does that, to find that bliss. It's not our goal. In fact, that's an obstacle. It happens. It does happen. When the mind goes silent mode. So quiet. Not even to ultimate, you know, quietness. But even as you get in there, you'll start to feel this blissfulness. Physically. And just... And you're like, ooh. We don't want that. She says so. The ego does. The ego wants that. Yes. That's why we're saying we gotta let it go. Yeah. 'Cause that's not the goal. 'Cause that will distract you into attaching to another pleasure. Okay? All of your... All of your... You don't want that? Let it go. Yeah. 'Cause that's not the goal. 'Cause that will distract you into attaching to another pleasure.

Okay? All of your... All of your suffering comes from pleasure-seeing. What fun is life? I don't have any pleasure. That's the ego-speak. That's that. Me, me, me. Okay? What did you say? I said less so... I just like the... It's like... I don't know. It's like a... It's not a flat line, but it's just a... Mm-hmm. What did you say? I said less so... I just like the... It's like... I don't know. It's like a... It's not a flat line, but it's just a... Mm-hmm. Yeah. So what did you just say? It doesn't happen often. What did you just say? I like that. Yeah. Yeah. That's the trap. Yes. That's the trap. Okay? So... That's why... You know... A form of escape. It's a pleasure-seeking.

Yeah. Pleasure-seeking. That's what we have to let go. And your ego's like, "Well, what good is life we can't enjoy?" You know? Yeah. That's the ego. But, like, I feel myself sitting right now. And even as I'm sitting right now, I'm tensed up. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But I like that. Yeah. Okay. So, just look. Yeah. If you get that, then just let it be there. We're not trying to get rid of it, either. Mm-hmm. Okay? Just be there. But at least inquire more into it. Inquire more into it. When you are in that state, instead of doing this, just say, okay, let me see what you are. What is this? Inquire into it.

But inquire into, what is this? Yes. Feeling this. Yes. Um, meditating eyes open versus eyes closed. Yeah. When you go over, like, is it a benefit to speech? When is it appropriate to meditate eyes closed? Have you been doing meditating? And I know that there's no right or wrong. Yeah. Have you been meditating in at least a practical way? It depends on what you're meditating for. What's your purpose behind meditation? Why do you meditate? Yeah. Probably more presence, less mental chatter. Okay. Then you don't want to close your eyes. Yeah, okay. Yeah, you don't want to close your eyes. If you want to find relaxation, you're tense, you're chaotic, you know, and you're really tired, my eyes hurt, sometimes I do that too. You know, I just kind of close my eyes a little bit and just look at it, look at all the sensations.

Because the way to relaxation is not, you know, it's just looking, finding that balance, you know, where you're always watching, always watching. Whatever the sensation is, then it takes care of itself. I promise, it takes care of itself. When you step back and just watch, it will take care of itself. Your power observation is not strong enough when it doesn't. That's all it is, okay? Yeah, because weird things happen. Yeah. Let it be, but continue to watch. Continue to watch. And stop being taken away by those experiences. Okay? Just watch. Is it okay if, when you're into inquiry and what is it, but your mind starts thinking in a conceptual manner and maybe goes to a different place to use the breath as a bridge to go back to get your mind in place?

And always with the breath, with the breath. That's why you're asking, first watch the breath, in and out, what is this? Yeah. But, stay with the breath for now. Okay? I know you've been meditating for a long time. But, stay until you get at least into this one point of concentration, at least have an experience of that. Steadiness. Or, about 45 minutes to an hour. Or, you don't even want to get up. You know? Anybody experience that? They're just like, "I don't want to get up." You don't want to. Because it's just so steady and so balanced. You know? It's not just relaxation. It's just calm but clear. Clear. Clarity is there. And you don't want to lose it. So you don't want to get up.

So once you start to experience that, that clarity of this present moment, simply as is, without wanting to do anything else. Just being right there. That's it. Then you'll find the steadiness. It's when you can say, "What is this? What is this?" That's experiencing this. The breath is still there. You see that. What is this? Breath is flowing. Everything just is. But what is this? Yeah. Thanks.

Yeah. And you'll notice that when you're there, there's no boundary of that clarity and the scene. You know, some people call it pure awareness. It's just the essence, being what it is. The reason all it takes is to watch is when you really simply just watch without any judgment, you are being that pure awareness without any identity of it. Just being. And that essence is so powerful, we can call it God, Buddha Nature, the infinite field of potentiality. These are just words. Okay? That's your true essence. Nature. Of our mind. Is that field. More so. The now. Is another word. The here now. The infinite here. Ever-present now. Is that field. Stop drawing the boundary. And you're there. Yeah.

Nothing else to do. Just be. Just be that you are. That's it. So you're already, it's already right here in the now. Because you're thinking about it. Which already took you off. It's that thinking mind. Even though I put you right there, you're thinking about it.

Even though I pointed at you, right here, right now, I showed it to you. The entirety. I just gave you the answer. I just showed it to you. But you're thinking about it. Every one of you here. So... Sometimes the hardest thing, like during a meditation, you...

You'll feel like it's being shown to you, and then you try and look at it like this one. Yeah. So, because that's why your tendency to think, conceptualize everything has to be let go. That's the practice. That's why it takes a lot of intense practice.

Intense practice. Yeah. Try it for 90 days. Try it for 90 days. We're only 90 now. We've been to 100. Try it for 90 days. Then repeat that for about 10 times. Okay, I've got time. That's why it's so hard when you have your own life responsibility to talk about all this, you know.

It's never been done before. And they don't. That's why the late Buddhism, you know, directs you to just praying, chanting, a lot of prostrations, to just build a lot of karmic energy, karmic merit, until you're ready to make that full jump into it.

You know? You guys would probably be scared if I'm out of shame with yourself. But you run away from me, right? That's why he tells you to get your eyes open. You hear that buzzer? So, that's a joke, but I'm talking about that commitment. I mean, just because you make that commitment, you know, in the robes, that means... That doesn't mean your hair won't grow back.

That means you're there, but it's all about the commitment. That's why, you know, you have to pay reverence to Buddha Dharma Sangha. That's the first step, Buddha Dharma Sangha. Okay? Show respect to those who make that commitment. That's why they're called venerables, you know. They're still on the way. That's why anytime you see a monk, no matter what tradition they are in, you know, they're in their monk robes and they always pay respect by doing this. Sorry, real quick, before we wrap it up, but what does walking meditation teach us?

Walking meditation? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's meditation in action. Yeah. So you're trying to do each step intentionally. Right. Yeah. Because normally when you walk, you don't think about walking, right? You're thinking about everything else. Yeah, when you do it slower, it's a lot harder. Yeah. Yeah. You're trying to pay attention to it. So you're not really walking slow. That's not the intention. The intention is to make each step count by noticing every sensation of it. So we do a little bit slower, you know, here than that other place. And some other places are really this, you know, really slow, too. But you don't have to go slow, really. You can go a little bit faster, but we try to follow the slowest person here, you know.

But that's okay. It doesn't matter what the pace is. You're doing it intentionally. You're practicing, you're training your mind to be fully present in action. Does that make sense? Yeah. So when you return to your car, see if you remember to walk mindfully. Or just rapidly going to your car to get to somewhere. Yeah. When you're eating, see if you're eating mindfully. Are you really taking the time to chew, taste, and be with that nutrition, you know, that's going to provide you that nutrition? So, see if you're there with a sense of gratitude. I used to practice like each mouth thing. Thank you, thank you, thank you, you know, to keep me right there with it. Have the sense of gratitude for everything that goes in the mouth.

That's also mindfulness practice, mindful eating practice. So we have, in our guidelines, three mindful activities throughout the day. Minimally. It's whether you're walking, whether you're eating, whether you're using the bathroom, brushing your teeth, you're going to commit to at least three things, you're going to be very mindful. Only do that. When you brush your teeth, only brush your teeth without ruminating, without thinking about what you're going to do next. Like, I'm brushing my teeth. Yeah. Yeah. You're feeling the sensation, you're moving it purposefully, you know? If you're using the electronic vibration one, you're like, no, you're feeling the sensation. So this is what it feels like when I pay attention. You know, so pay attention to what you're doing, to everything. And then increase it to five things, seven things, nine things.

So you're mindful moment to moment, all day long. That's the goal. Yeah. So everything that I do, I do it purposely. I'm there, you know, completely awake to the task at hand. Yeah. So if somebody pisses you off, you see that emotion coming. Wow. Then you choose, do I respond this way or that way? That's a conscious choice. Because you're extremely present. Yeah. Because you're present enough to know. And later on, you may recognize it as you're doing it. Later on, once you become more mindful, you'll see it coming up. And sometimes, and then later on, you're like, you know, I normally used to get mad at this, but now I just see this as this. And you just respond accordingly. Whether I just don't respond or respond, it becomes a choice.

It becomes a choice when you're fully awake to this situation. Does that make sense? We're just not trained. We're not mindful enough. We're not present enough. Because we're always lost in that circumstance. We're lost in that situation. We're lost in that conversation. You know, we're lost like, "Oh, what do I need to do right now?" Ruminating all the time. Regretting the past. Worried about the future. And just think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, you know. Just thoughts of yours going like this. Yeah. And we're making it worse by doing this, you know. Shup, shup, shup, shup, shup, shup, shup, shup, shup. Yeah. Because we're seeking stimulation for that dopamine release. You know? And we're addicted to that. That's why we can't calm down.

Wow. So if you want to calm down, you've got to give up some of those things. Those pleasures. Okay? Any other questions? Okay.